Im a gay woman madly in love with a male.?

I have been gay for as long as I can remember. Its something I have always struggled with. This beautiful relationship that I am in is very loving, very ual, very perfect. But as much as I am attracted to him with my heart I will never be attracted to him physically. Its very hard to deal with. I feel attractions to women and I attempt to repress it, after all "infidelity in mind is infidelity in heart." I feel guilty, and jealous and attracted. It happens to cause arguments. I see someone beautiful and I long for them, then I think "oh my god, she is prettier than me.. he is so looking at her..." I feel terrible about looking and then for accusing with no justification other than low confidence, Makes me feel like a female embodiment of Holden Caufeild. And it doesn't help that I have never had the ability to ever express my uality with a woman, meaning im a virgin to a woman's touch. My boyfriend knows of my uality though, he was accepting, fearful and distressed but accepting. I guess what I am asking is for some help; to see if any one has been through this too. I do not want to leave him and I will deal with this inner turmoil to always be by his side, but I need for some one to tell me how to manage it. Is there any one who can help me?